Children's Mental Health Week 2021:
My Story
It's Children's Mental Health Week this week and I wanted to share my story.
Looking after our own mental health is so important, but so is looking after children's mental health, especially when they are young. I actually started suffering with bad panic attacks and anxiety along with depression when I was just 8 or 9 years old and I remember the first ever panic attack I had, it was in London Underground during the Christmas rush period and it was packed, like so busy. I hated going through the ticket barriers so for one, I just ran through it (without the doors opening), I was then told by the security guard to go back round and do it "properly", safe to say, I hated him at that point lol.
Suffering with mental health at a young age, especially in the early 2000's was hard, it was (and still is) a massive taboo to speak up about things like this and as a child, I had no clue what was happening to me, I literally thought I was going to die, which is correct with panic attacks because the symptoms look and feel like you're having a heart attack. I kept quiet for 8 years, until I was in my room and I literally just had enough of everything, I was 18, in college, not really knowing what I wanted to do in life and so I attempted suicide for the very first time. I then had an overwhelming emotion come over me which stopped me going further.. I began to write notes for my safeguarding officer, my PDC (personal development coach) in college and went to sleep hoping that my attempt didn't work.
I got up the next day (thankfully) and got ready like I normally would, got the bus to college and immediately went to my safeguarding officer, I gave her the note and as she read it, I just burst into tears. In the note was, I've been battling depression and anxiety in silence for 9 years. She looked up at me and just said "wow, I have no words". You see, I was Vice President of the Student Union, I would talk to anyone and everyone, but secretly I was shy, emotional and just fragile. And this is the thing about mental health, just by putting on a smile, laughing loads, it can hide so much, so please look after even the strongest person around you because you never know what someone is going through.
She told me to go to class and that she'd speak to me after college, so I did, I went to class and 40 minutes later, I started having a panic attack, and of course my teacher didn't even know at this point what was happening. I emailed my safeguarding officer asking her to come up to the class to get me, she did but let the teacher know what I told her that morning.. The teacher brought me to the front of the class and gave me a note to say that Kirstie (my safeguarding officer) will speak to me after college and just checked in with me every so often. I then finished college and went down to speak to Kirstie who by the way is an absolute diamond, she was so understanding, listened very well to me and advised I saw the college counsellor who then became my favourite person.
I began seeing Cathy my counsellor for a few months before she left to work for Teamwork Trust in Kettering.
I then went to my doctor with my Nan, I was so scared, I couldn't put into words how I was feeling or anything, my doctor (who had been my GP for many many years) suggested counselling and medication. I went home feeling better and that I was listened to.. or so I thought.
I started abusing my medication and took more and more. At that point, I couldn't stop myself. Luckily though, nothing happened to me, so I'm relieved to be typing this today.
Asking for help is not weak, it's in fact the strongest thing you can do.
8 years later, I'm now on the road to recovery.
With recovery, it's not a straight road, there's bends, there's speed bumps, there's other idiots on the road too who like to make you believe that they own the road when in fact they don't, so just because you're not at the same traffic lights as others, doesn't mean you're a failure, it means that you're running a marathon, not a sprint, you will get there when you're ready.
Working as an online voluntary mental health support worker for the past nearly 9 years, I get to speak to so many people, whether they suffer with mental health themselves or their children do.. I always remind them that they are valid, their feelings are valid and it's okay not to be okay which I feel is so important to remind people about. It's 2021 and there's still a stigma against people with mental illnesses and people who take medication to balance out the chemicals in our brains, but no one talks badly about a cancer patient who has to have chemotherapy or radio therapy or a diabetic who has to inject themselves with insulin to balance out that.. something needs to be done and by sharing my story, I hope I can help combat the stigma.
Ways you can promote healthy emotional wellbeing:
- Have an open door policy with your children. Open up about how you're feeling so when they share their own feelings, it's "normal" to them.
- Check in with them daily. Give them time to just talk things out, this will really help them in later life especially if they need to reach out for support to professionals.
- Promote healthy lifestyle choices, so exercise, a balanced meal and sleep are so important.
- Teach them the importance of healthy mind set. There is so many good motivational speeches out there that relate to mental health, just search for them on YouTube (if you are a parent, please make sure you watch these first so you know what to expect and the kind of questions your child might ask, just so you're more prepared)
They will be my tips.
Having a healthy mind is just as important as having a healthy body, if your mind is unwell, then other things will follow and it'll just fall apart. Mental health is now becoming more of a conversation starter now that we are back in lockdown, looking after ourselves is now such a big priority in the current situation because being in lockdown is damaging for our mental health so it's important to take a break and just do some self-care.
As mental health is my passion, I've also done a Instagram post about this so be sure to head on over there and show it some support. This will be put up at 4pm today, so it should already be up.
If you're a parent, feel free to use the comments section on this blog or the Instagram post to share your tips too, let's get a conversation going and support each other.
Stay safe, look after yourselves and your children and remember you are never alone battling mental health or any other illness - my DMs are always open if you need to talk to anyone, no judgement, just full support. Find me on social media below..
MissCatherineWard
Where to find me;
Facebook; Miss Catherine Ward
Instagram; @misscatherineward
Email contact; catherinejw@hotmail.com
